The Mental Load of Moms During the Holidays

Why One More “What Should I Get the Kids?” Text Might Push You Over the Edge

If you’ve already received at least twelve texts that sound like: “What should I get the kids for Christmas?” …then welcome to Holiday Mom Season.

We’ve officially entered the “every single decision runs through me” era of the year.

And let’s be clear: it’s not that the grandparents, aunts, uncles, godparents, neighbors, your friend from book club, or the woman you met once at soccer don’t mean well.They do. Their hearts are in the right place.

But the question is never just: “What should I get them?”

What they’re really asking is: “Can you make this decision for me, organize it, prevent duplicates, monitor fairness, maintain the Santa storyline, and emotionally curate the gifting experience so I can feel confident about what I give?”

And because moms are the emotional project managers of the holidays…we do.

But let’s be honest: the mental load of moms during the holidays is real.

The Hidden Mental Math Moms Do

When someone asks, “What should I get your kid?” we instantly calculate:

• What they already have

• What will cause a sibling meltdown

• What will take up the entire living room floor

• What makes noise (and if we can tolerate that noise)

• The financial expectations we don’t want to impose

• Whether it requires assembly (at 1 AM on Christmas Eve… let’s be serious)

  
  

This is not just a gift question.This is logistics-meets-emotional-regulation-meets-household-capacity planning.It’s a full-time job inside our heads.

And here’s the truth we don’t always admit:

We do this to each other, too.

I’ve sent that text to my own mom friends.

It’s not that we’re doing something wrong it’s that our culture has turned moms into the Central Processing Station of All Decisions, especially at the holidays.

How to Ease the Mental Load of Moms During the Holidays

Here’s a simple system that changed everything for me not just during the Holidays but all year long: I keep an ongoing Amazon wishlist for each of my kids.

When I see something they might like: a book, a sensory toy, a hoodie, a random TikTok suggestion, I just add it.

No big emotional moment. No pressure. Just a running list.

So now, when someone says:  “What should I get them?” I can simply reply: “Here’s their wishlist, pick anything from there!”

No stress.

No mental inventory scanning.

No panicked last-minute scrambling.No 11 PM existential Target aisle meltdown.

Just... here’s the list.

Life-changing is not an exaggeration.

We are managing the joy and the overwhelm.

The magic and the mess.

Their emotional needs and our own.

This is the real work of the holidays and it’s completely invisible to all the well intentioned people around us.

The truth is, the holidays are heavy for moms. And you’re not failing if you feel it. 

You’re not missing some magical system everyone else has.

There is no magical system.

You are a mom doing her best to create love and memories in the middle of chaos, consumerism, expectations, emotions, and so much noise.

Here’s my suggestion: Don’t wait until the mental load of Christmas snaps you in half

If the mental load moms have during the holidays is wearing you thin, let’s talk.You deserve support that’s real, honest, and actually helpful, especially now.

Don’t make it your New Year’s Resolution to seek support while crumbling under the weight of being the gift list organizer, the gift getter for 12 different teachers and coaches, and the magic of the season. 

Schedule your complimentary mental health consultation today — before the holiday pressure breaks you instead of bringing you joy. SCHEDULE HERE