I Swear I Have Mom ADD

I swear becoming a mom gave me ADD.

Okay, not literally. Motherhood does not suddenly give you ADHD. But if you are a mom and September has you walking into rooms and immediately forgetting why you are there, starting three things and finishing none of them, or staring blankly at your phone because you cannot process one more email, you know exactly what I mean.

September has a special way of making your brain feel like you have 47 tabs open, and at least six of them are playing music.

As a therapist who works with overwhelmed moms and a mom myself, I hear this all the time. Women come in telling me they feel distracted, forgetful, scattered, irritable, and completely overwhelmed by things that normally would not seem like a big deal.

Then September happens, and suddenly everything feels like a big deal.

Why September Makes Mom Brain Feel So Much Worse

September is supposed to be about getting back into a routine.

Instead, it feels like someone took your family, changed every schedule at once, and handed you a stack of forms with a deadline.

New teachers. New classrooms. New sports. New activities. New school portals. New bus schedules. New pickup procedures. New homework expectations. New shoes because apparently everyone's feet grew overnight.

The problem is not simply that there are more things to do. There are more things to remember, and that is where the mental load of motherhood really starts to wear you down.

The Mental Load Is Why Your Brain Feels Like It Has 47 Tabs Open

The mental load isn't just making the appointment. It is remembering that the appointment needs to happen, finding the phone number, figuring out when it can fit into everyone's schedule, putting it on the calendar, filling out the paperwork, remembering the appointment, and making sure you actually get there.

Now multiply that by every child, every activity, every school announcement, every household responsibility, and every person who asks you, "Mom, where is my...?"

Your brain is constantly switching tasks.

You are making dinner while remembering that someone needs poster board tomorrow. You are answering a work email while listening to a story about recess. You are driving to practice while mentally calculating whether there is enough time to get home, feed everyone, and somehow locate the missing cleat.

Is It Mom ADD or Are You Just Overloaded?

This is where I want to make an important distinction.

Feeling forgetful, distracted, restless, or disorganized when you are carrying an enormous mental load does not mean you suddenly developed ADHD because you became a mother.

There can be overlap between cognitive overload and some of the symptoms associated with ADHD, which is why it can be tempting to diagnose yourself after watching a few social media videos.

If attention or executive-function difficulties have been persistent and are significantly affecting your life, that is worth discussing with an appropriate healthcare professional.

But sometimes the more useful question is much simpler:

How much is my brain being asked to hold right now?

Because maybe you don't have a neurodivergent brain, maybe you have an incredibly full one.

You Don't Need Another Planner

Listen, I love a good calendar. Lists can be lifesavers. Reminders are wonderful.

But sometimes moms are handed another organizational system when what they really need is less to organize.

A prettier planner does not solve the problem when one person is responsible for remembering everything.

This September, try taking a few things out of your brain instead of simply finding better ways to store them.

Let your kids take responsibility for what they are old enough to manage. Put family information in one shared calendar instead of keeping it all in your head. Ask your partner to own an entire responsibility rather than waiting for you to delegate every step. Decide which things actually matter and which ones can be forgotten without the world ending.

And when you inevitably forget something?

Try not to turn it into evidence that you are failing.

You forgot pajama day. Your child will survive.

Support for Overwhelmed Moms

If September has you feeling like your brain is running 47 tabs at once, therapy can give you a place to step out of the chaos for a minute and figure out what is actually weighing you down.

The F-Bomb Moms Group is a virtual, therapist-led support group for moms who are exhausted, overwhelmed, overstimulated, and ready for some honest conversation about how hard motherhood can actually be. We talk about the mental load, burnout, parenting, relationships, resentment, guilt, and all the things moms don't always feel comfortable saying out loud.

The group is open to moms in New Jersey and is covered by insurance. (Schedule a call to see if it's right for you HERE)

Because maybe motherhood didn't actually give you ADD.

Maybe you are just trying to run an entire family with one very overloaded brain.